message to a fan

honey why do you think I want a burger? i really hope you're sleeping and you don't read this until tomorrow... but today really tested every single fiber of my being, and today is only preparation FOR TOMORROW... I love LOVE LOVE LOVE the motley crusie and you know that... it has CHANGED MY LIFE but somebody (not vince, not alan) has made a preposterous ridiculous inmensely selfish ass request that could should will NOT be done and this person has the power to switch the whole thing off... and my understanding by those who know him is that he WILL fire me and fire the agency if I don't give in to what he wants which I WILL NOT UNDER ANY KIND OF CIRCUMSTANCE POSSIBLE... HOney I want 2009 but not at the cost it is being asked of me... I cant say more and you know our conversations are to be kept private adn I know you won't tell, but you have to trust me that I'm doing everything possible, legal and logical to make it happen. sorry, i keep using you as a pillow into wich to scream when I don't want the world to see my weaknesses and I appreciate it.
pardon my grammar.
Gg

The fact that I have becomed enamored with Chavela Vargas does not come as a surprise to me. I've always had a rebellious taste that frankly, I can't explain it even to myself... in everything; food, clothes, art, music... men.
What did surprise me is that I have apparently gone around a full circle, I had abandoned the idea that I indeed had "el gusto en el culo" and just come to terms that I felt a passionate admiration for such bizarre talents as Salvador Dali (have you ever seen "Un Chien Andalou?... don't.), Dada's Marcel Duchamp, Maria Felix, Frida, Pedro Almodovar, et al.
Until I became mesmerized by Vargas' raspy, almost manly voice, all these people were like "cuentas de un collar" disparate parts of my obsession... it turns out, that she (as lover of one, muse of another) brings all these people together with less than six degrees of separation. GREAT! film, paint, sculpture, beauty and now music!!! too bad I don't do drugs... actually, with these factors in play drugs might be superfluous.
The only thing Vargas could not do was bring all these former obsessions of mine to date... until I heard her sing with (thinking hard about the name....) Alejando Sanz (or Sans...) It's nice to know that although I can't for the life of me find definition, at least I can see that at some point it may all come into focus.