message to a fan

honey why do you think I want a burger? i really hope you're sleeping and you don't read this until tomorrow... but today really tested every single fiber of my being, and today is only preparation FOR TOMORROW... I love LOVE LOVE LOVE the motley crusie and you know that... it has CHANGED MY LIFE but somebody (not vince, not alan) has made a preposterous ridiculous inmensely selfish ass request that could should will NOT be done and this person has the power to switch the whole thing off... and my understanding by those who know him is that he WILL fire me and fire the agency if I don't give in to what he wants which I WILL NOT UNDER ANY KIND OF CIRCUMSTANCE POSSIBLE... HOney I want 2009 but not at the cost it is being asked of me... I cant say more and you know our conversations are to be kept private adn I know you won't tell, but you have to trust me that I'm doing everything possible, legal and logical to make it happen. sorry, i keep using you as a pillow into wich to scream when I don't want the world to see my weaknesses and I appreciate it.
pardon my grammar.
Gg

The fact that I have becomed enamored with Chavela Vargas does not come as a surprise to me. I've always had a rebellious taste that frankly, I can't explain it even to myself... in everything; food, clothes, art, music... men.
What did surprise me is that I have apparently gone around a full circle, I had abandoned the idea that I indeed had "el gusto en el culo" and just come to terms that I felt a passionate admiration for such bizarre talents as Salvador Dali (have you ever seen "Un Chien Andalou?... don't.), Dada's Marcel Duchamp, Maria Felix, Frida, Pedro Almodovar, et al.
Until I became mesmerized by Vargas' raspy, almost manly voice, all these people were like "cuentas de un collar" disparate parts of my obsession... it turns out, that she (as lover of one, muse of another) brings all these people together with less than six degrees of separation. GREAT! film, paint, sculpture, beauty and now music!!! too bad I don't do drugs... actually, with these factors in play drugs might be superfluous.
The only thing Vargas could not do was bring all these former obsessions of mine to date... until I heard her sing with (thinking hard about the name....) Alejando Sanz (or Sans...) It's nice to know that although I can't for the life of me find definition, at least I can see that at some point it may all come into focus.

RIP Tia Elena

La hermana mayor de mi Mama fallecio anoche en la ciudad de Santiago de los Caballeros.

Todas las personas que de una manera u otra fueron tocadas por esta bella persona estamos tristes por su partida.

Nunca olvidare los veranos que pase en tu casa, los animalitos que tenias en el patio... las tardes que pasamos jugando en el lodo, los reganos que nos dabas cuando veniamos todos sucios y enlodados que pareciamos "huerfanitos"La leche hervida que me brindabas, sin saber que yo era alergica! pero que tu pensabas que no me gustaba y la endulzabas con quick de fresa...

El olor de tu cocina, ni el calor de tus manos.

Gracias Tia! Nunca te olvidaremos!

Gg

Tardes Negras

One time I read that distance was to love what the wind is to fire....
The wind can blow out a candle, but intensify a fire... I enjoy this metaphor inmensely... It reminds me that there is a fire inside, that not one person, nor distance or time can diminish...
I also enjoy the realization that NO ONE throws rocks at someone who is down... So if you find yourself in a situation where people are throwing rocks at you, it is only because you have achieved a level of success that calls for that. You might not have realized it, and that's what the rocks are, they tell you how high above others you are. ignore them. Intensify your search, your strenght, your own personal happiness... and move on. They will not stop throwing rocks, but they're gonna have to try a whole lot harder to reach you.
Las tardes negras? I just love Tiziano. I love that song. It reminds me of the fire.

I laugh now, I smile more. i sti in my couch and read and work and listen to music and i smile.
I watch tv, the same re-runs I used to watch before (porque no tengo cable... por que crees que vi los tres seasons de 24 jajajaj! mentira... eso tiene su razon aparte) anyway, I watch the SAME everybody loves raymond, will and grace, family guy shows I used to watch before but now I LAUGH. I laugh outloud and I smile and the food tastes better and the flowes smell prettier!

I remember how when I moved out of the house I shared with Luis, when we moved to Homestead with my brother and Desi, I remember finding ol pics of me where I looked SO PRETTY, I was smiling and my hair looked great and my smile was pretty and my skin was beautiful... I was like "that' not me anymore" and I said to myself I wanted to be that person again!... es por eso que vivo tomandome fotos a ver si he vuelto a ser la misma persona... no tanto el pelo, ni la piel ni el cuerpo (obviametne stoy un chin mas gorda) si no la sonrisa... y me estoy cuidando mas, duermo menos pero he vuelto a mi rutina de belleza donde me lavo la cara, uso mascarillas, uso moisturizers y todo lo que se me aparezca por en frente... he retomado mi habito de 'mujer bonita' algo a lo que habia renunciado hace mucho tiempo. Volvi a sacar mi cajita de makillajes y he organizado mi wardrobe... puse todas mis 'joyas' y accesorios en orden y me compre un blower nuevo (super powerful jeje) Me tomo mi hora cada tres dias haciendome el pelo (como lo hacia SOLO si iba a visitarte)
para mi la apariencia es importante pero no tan importante como SENTIRME BIEN.. el truco es que si me veo bien, YO ME SIENTO BIEN.

tambien fui a victoria's secret y me compre un viaje de lociones y perfumitos... estoy trabajando mucho, pero busco la manera de cuidarme, de kerereme y hacerme feliz.


YO HOY me invente un plato.. it KICKED ASS!!!
coji una "tostada mexicana" que basicamente es una tortilla de maiz crujiente, de unos 5" de diametro.
le puse un huevo frito sunny side up arriva, y le puse una cucharada de Salsa (como chips and salsa)
entonces al rededor puse guacamole, sour cream y frijoles fritos... that shit was GOOOOOD!! jajajaja! llame al manager del restaurante donde trabaja luis, un Haitiano que se llama Michelot y me quiere muchisimo, y le conte... ya el me habia pedido mi receta de salsa en el pasado..... me dijo que fuera en la noche para el ver como lo hice y lo va a usar en el menu de los domingos.

blur to jonathan

here I am a single mom, struggling to make ends meet and being increadibly underestimated by everyone around me... and I LOVE IT.
I LOOOOVE my life right now because es un preambulo de las grandes cosas que van a suceder en mi vida en los proximos meses/anios...

I love and enjoy every single minute of my life right now. I receive so much pleasure from teh work that I am doing because i know it is the path that is goign to take me to where I wan to be soon. I KNOW I AM GOING TO MAKE IT. it's been years and years of not knowing what I wan to do with myself. of not knowing what I could do, what I was good at... and now it is CLEAR to me. what I want, what I am good at.
this is a joyous time in my life.

I know I am working hard and I know it does not seem to everyone that the work that I am doing is worth what I am getting in return. but that does not matter. what matters is what I KNOW. what matters is that it makes perfect sense in my head. and what mattes is that God is opening the doors I need, and giving me the obstacles I need, because they make me stronger and they help me overcome and learn for the future. I thank God for every minute, every problem, every breathing moment of my life.

AND IT IS NOT becuase I will profit my client well over a million dollars in just ONE sale in 2009, it is not all aobut teh money. it is about satisfaction that it gives me to know I am taking my capacity to it's full extent. and knowing that my son will be proud of me one day... that just makes my night.

NAPOLEON IS DEAD!!! Long Live The EMPRESS!!!!

I forgot...

Yes, he who rides with pride in his white horse...

He who is the finest thing God created after Godiva Chocolatier (y cuidao!)

He who tells me to "shut up and let him talk" so we can have a "DIALOGO"

HE IS GOOOOOONE... gooooone with da wind!!!!

Gisele is FREEeeeeEEEEEEEEeeeee

free like the wind and my heart with the wings

free like d buterflyl who dared come too close to the light

with burned wings BUT FREE TO HAVE THEM!

Will I miss him? of course! and I will thank him for the love, and the fact that one day, maybe for a minute... he loved me more than he loved himself.

Adios, Mr. Bonaparte!

I FOUND MAH BLOG!! bitches!

I can't believe I let sooo long pass without even bother look for it!!

I even started blogging on myspace!!!

HELLOH! people who KNOW Me read that!!!! what am I crazy????

Let's see... I got lazy and was, um... let go of my fantastic job! only to find an even better one about 24 hours later! God Loves Gisele!

So Im back to my travels and my people and my Rockin'

But more doors are opening up... oh wait a minute.. who cares!

Sorry!!!

Next time, I'll write about what is like to find a bohemian looking apartment in Coral Gables.

I am SOFA king Read Todd Did...

sooo tireeeed!!
sooo sleepyyyy
must work more
more hours
more office
more phone calls in the middle of the night
vince wants a grilled cheese sandwich
lia wants to move her massage appointment... again...
the playboy bunny... who invited HER? she needs a bra! get the WOMAN A BRA FOR GOD's SAKE!
some santa margherita please... more please.
pretty pretty pink toes... so pretty!!!


I saw a dead bird today, wait... I don't know what it was... it was a dead animal on the road... I gave up going out on Tuesday night because I WAS EXHAUSTED.. how do you spell exhausted?
Super Nova? somethinnng like daaaaaaaat...
the ship and dips was WAAAY better than teh crue... but I like the crue, girls alwyas like the bad boys, the bad, dirty, funny, drunken boys.. no body wnts to be with the barenaked ladies, well... no body with respect for the body that is ROCK AND ROLL!

ROCK ON... but quietly, cuz Gigi is sleeping....